


Before the Fall

by Rhianona



Series: Tags to Eureka [13]
Category: Eureka
Genre: F/M, tag to 4x18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2014-09-27
Packaged: 2018-02-18 22:55:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2365049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhianona/pseuds/Rhianona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life moves in unexpected directions and he doesn't know where he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before the Fall

Zane wondered if he would always set himself up for the fall. He told Senator Wen the truth: no one had ever had his back. He had fought and clawed his way through life, taking the easy way out until he got caught and then he agreed to sell his soul to Eureka because at least they respected his work. (They might not like him or trust him but they _needed_ him.) 

No one had ever needed him. At least he had thought so and then Jo Lupo, who would have sooner froze his balls off than look at him with lust (love) in her eyes, came up to him on Founder’s Day and said she’d marry him. And he laughed and wondered just what the hell she’d drunk or eaten to make her say _that_ (and his heart stopped for a second and he wanted to _believe_ her so badly before hiding behind his usual snark and smarm). And he avoided her and started something with the Sheriff’s daughter and tried to pretend he didn’t feel Lupo’s eyes following his every move — and not with suspicion like she had before but with something else. (It didn’t work.) 

He knew something was different about her and not just because she’d suddenly become the Sheriff’s little sister when the two could scarcely stand to be in the same room _before_. She was softer for all that she continued to keep people away from her with an invisible wall of force. He liked the new Jo Lupo and a part of him wanted (needed) her. 

Zane stayed away until he got shot up into space and Fargo told him the truth. Told him about a time shift and how before that he and Jo had loved each other. And all of a sudden, it was like something had _clicked_ and he got it. Understood that what he’d been waiting for could be his. He just needed to reach for it. 

And that was the laugh. He had stopped trying a long time ago. Stopped reaching for what others could have but he never seemed to actually get. Jo Lupo and love just didn’t seem likely but he couldn’t resist. Couldn’t keep himself from just trying. From wanting one last thing.

The _Astraeus_ project seemed like a god send. Get her involved, work with her to help her get a berth. And maybe, just maybe he could live his own dream of space travel through her. And then he decided to roll the dice for himself and she fought for him too and suddenly the possibility that the both of them could go to Titan was possible. 

(No one had fought for him in a very long time. Against him, yeah. But for him? Hadn’t happened since he was a kid.) 

He couldn’t believe it when he went into Café Diem and heard Carter tell Jo she hadn’t made the cut. Shocked when she told him she had withdrawn her name, that it hadn’t been her dream but a challenge. And he loved her for it as much as it hurt him. 

Going to Titan with Jo meant more to him than he had expected it; sharing something as amazing as traveling to another planet? How much cooler could it get? And he wanted — desperately — to share something with her that the other Zane hadn’t. Couldn’t because as far as he could tell the other Eureka wasn’t as advanced as this one was. At least in some respects. 

He wanted (needed) something that was _his_. Not the other his. And he thought… except Jo decided she didn’t want to go after all and his heart fell to his feet and he saw that she genuinely wanted him to go because it was his dream (and not her’s) and she supported him and… and…

Zane didn’t know what he wanted. Didn’t know what he should do. Go to Titan? Or stay. 

After he got his pardon, he told Jo that if he stayed in Eureka it would be because he wanted to, not because he had to. He pretended not to see the desperate look on her face, the one that gave him hope that she saw something beyond the other him. He pushed her and wanted her to define what it was they had just as much as he was terrified to know the truth. 

For so long, he had belonged to Eureka and the DoD. Now that he didn’t need to stay, he had no idea what he wanted. Once upon a time, he couldn’t wait to get out of here. Dreamed of where he would go when (if) he ever got his pardon. Never expected to _want_ to stay and see what the future would bring. Where this thing with Jo would go. 

He just didn’t know if he could take the risk. Didn’t know if he could survive the fall that would surely come. But… didn’t he deserve the right to try? Jo had and maybe, if she was willing to try and have a life with the new him, he should just close his eyes and take the step off the dock into the deep water. 

_/fin_


End file.
